Christmas in Muscat

Its Christmas time, and I felt like scribbling, something.
You know something like a celebrity writer who comes and writes for special occasions or feature…lol. But the only difference it this blog, a guest in my own column.

Anyways, Yesterday had been to Ruwi church, for the midnight (nope evening) mass. Have always been impressed about the church from, the first day I entered the church. The synchronization beautiful. Oh before I start yapping, let me wish all of you a Merry Christmas.
So yesterday during the sermon, as every church tries to interpret the real meaning of Christmas, here too was the same topic. It’s interesting to hear different notions about the meaning or significance of Christmas. I did not understand what the priest was trying to convey, or may be it was because I was in my own thoughts of finding out the meaning of my Christmas.
To me Christmas is the time of the season to spread joy & laughter, to go an extra mile to bring these to gifts into the life of people around you. And instead of writing Merry Christmas for SMS, this was the message that I sent out. So coming back to the sermon, I was like, the moment the priest steps down ill go up and tell my meaning….kinda funny. Even thried to llink up certain tits & bits to make my sermon meaningful. I remembered to add, ‘Jaddu Ki Jappi’ (Magical Hug) from the bollywood movie ‘Munna Bhai MBBS’. Nothing Harry Potter style, but it’s the magic of a simple hug, a hug that brings warmth, laughter, happiness into all our lives. In last Sunday’s sermon priest was preaching (don’t remember the specifics) about a guy who gave shake hand to a beggar, and the beggar was so pleased, and he said it was the best gift he had received in all of his life. Yes people all of us are looking for handshakes & hugs. That’s the best gift we can all give others and it doesn’t cost us a penny.

We all are lonely and everyone is looking for someone to hug, to shake a hand.

And check out the song of one of the West life ambassadors
The next thing what I am gonna write has got nothing to do with what I had said earlier. You know me jumping from different topics. Ok, so I was watching the movie, Iruthu (Seasons), a movie in Malayalam, beautiful movie. If you get a chance do watch it. Its about 3 youngsters, their friendship, job, current generation life and stuff.

Oman Story

The Holy Month of Ramadan comes to an end, with the visibility of the Full Moon. Being in an Arab country, this is the first time I really had the experience of fasting and stuff. Earlier when in Hyderabad, people were fasting and maintaining their beliefs, even i used to be a part of them only for the opening of the Rozza, at evening. .lol… I miss those fresh fruit cuts, dates, pakodas, sandwiches, hmmmmm. And of course we used to get the Hyderabad specials Haleem and dum biriyani. Those yummy days!!!!!

And when I mean I had the exp of fasting, its not I fasted, but yes because most of the shops were closed, throughout the day even I too had only my dinner. And if lucky biscuits for evening, ie if I am in a mood to buy. May be its because of that I don’t feel like eating, or because of my tummy gets blotted up ..what ever it is ..food was a one time affair for me most of the days.

Hey its leave for 4-5 days and frankly speaking I am worried. I don’t know what to do… I want to visit some places I have heard on in Oman but financially I am not sound, so not even daring to think about it. And on top of it I do doubt Ill need to come to office for some paper works. I don’t get it why an I not able to enjoy the as I did when I was in Hyderabad. And one more of my concern is where are all my rials flowing out, to make my bank balance almost Nil.

Now coming to job, I am asked this question mostly, where is my career going to? Why did I take the job..ok wheni was accepting the offer I had answers like , new field, new exposure, higher pay scale etc..but right now if I am given a choice I don’t think ill leave my previous job. It was much more satisfying and I knew exactly what I am.

Few days back I was reading an article, Mental Illness as a 4^th Hazard. And yes its true, the factors what they outline,(1) High Demand, (2) Low Control, (3) High Effort, (4) Low Reward. are 100% true, everyone what ever be the industry are under influence of these factors, and results in mental illness like affective disturbances (anxiety, irritability), behavioral problems (substance abuse, sleep difficulties), psychiatric disorders (neuroses), somatic complaints (headache, gastrointestinal symptoms).

Yes the factor of me being away from my home county is also one aspect. Yes I was not at home for long, may that’s why I don’t miss home, but I do miss being in India. To be in India is really a blessing. I have heard people who have been here for years telling that when they came even they felt the same and now this country has become theirs. (I don’t know what they meant by that, is it that they have accepted it or have they become used to.) And eventually even ill feel the same…..I don’t think so. I had friends, good friends in Hyderabad, and I have not yet made thick friends here... ..and I think that’s the reason why this boredom or out of place feeling.

Smile & be Happy

Do you think twice before you do anything?

Yes

Do you get your plan/ feeling accomplished?

May be you might say yes, but I am sure the answer is going to be NO. It won’t be as what you had initially decided.

A person who does things in impulses is far happier and achieves their feelings. Don’t you think so?

If you feel like having a Masala Dosa/ Pizza or what ever be it, just have it don’t keep it for later. You will feel happy, and of course scientific study have shown happy people live longer. Hey throw the studies in the drain; I don’t think we need studies to tell that all of us want happiness. These might be trifle things but just try it you will definitely feel the difference.

Of course there are financial factors, every dream or wish can come true if we remain in our limits. Even its similar in case of human emotions, be it love, anger, pain, what ever be it express it. If you are in love Say it, that to the person you love….don’t think about the consequences there is time for it later. But do make sure that you do not hurt anyone in getting to your goal.

In a bollywood movie, I guess its ‘Life in a Metro’, there is scène when one of the actresses is taken to a top of a building and she is asked to shout to out to let her anger sublime. Yes she is shown to have relieved of her frustration.

In another movie’ Jab we met’, there is a character who likes to live on the impulses she feels and she is bloody happy. Even there is scène where she is sitting on top of wooden plank protruding to the lake and she feel likes jumping in and she does it along with the lead actor. Its bloody stupid when we think but when we see the faces of both of them, you will know, though it was pretty stupid it was fun.

Yup, I am a movie buff, so bear with me for taking you in to the world of colors and dreams

Let’s try to have fun people. FUN its three letter word but a word so powerful, that it changes the life of all.

Oh one more thing hurting people is not fun, its sadisms. Have fun but your fun should not hurt others.

Enjoy the simple things in life…...that’s the way to live a happy and fun filled life.

Enjoy the goodness of a simple Smile, as I always have said smile is the reflector of happiness.

An heart felt smile is the best gift you can give to anyone

Reaching Out

Without a Vision, we become a debating society and a place where habit quickly becomes “tradition”. Tradition often becomes an excuse for repression, bigotry or reactionary thinking – Raymond R Feist, Shards of a Broken Crown

Those are the lines from the latest book that I have finished reading. Felt like sharing among all of you. Though I have no idea what to write, here I am sitting like a school boy in an English exam when he has to write an essay on the above topic.

Traditions should be for the betterment of mankind, and some times we need to create new traditions, you might not know but you may like it. Why not start a new tradition of accepting us gays as a part of the society. Accept the change, we biologists term it as evolution, but in this case evolution is required for each and everyone’s mind set. We are your brothers and sisters. By accepting us, YOU, make a difference.

Am sure, all of us like taking their own decisions, following your own dream, even we want the same. We really don’t want to say like what Dash (a character in the novel) said “I am tired of living their vision of what I should be, who I should be”. YOU can make the difference happen by supporting us.

Awaiting a Hug from You, My Brother

I am bloody happy today...I just saw the movie New York, John Abraham, Neil Nithin, Katrina Kaif, Irfan Khan, ya its the latest bollywood flick. Yes its good movie, but i dont think thats the reason for my happiness. But it is that its a bollywood movie...something that reminds me of Hyderabad life..It was Rocking...the movies, the late night rides, long walks, the Ice candys from the night hawkers by the lake, the booze all those good memories. I am not bothered if people say i am living in the ghost of yester years, those were good times.

I was bubbling with those good memories that i called few of my friends directly from my cell, something which i dont do for financial reasons, any ways one of them was at a concert, which i would have also attended had i been there. They are my dear fiends. Hey mind you all those good friends i have are straight friends, hey gays dont mind but i did not find anyone who became one of my dear friends. Of course there is one guy who stands out in gay friends circle he stands out as my love. No i am not here to talk about him.

I just want to remind people that when you choose friends you just choose them, you dont look at their sexuality or religion or caste or creed or even gender, thats is whats called friendship. Earlier i was reading post by Rainbow Rays & CSB, both talking about Homophobia. The hot topic of media now a days is the homosexuality. I am happy with it, as as someone said, be it good or bad publicity is publicity and i'd like to rephrase it as awareness.

And few words to all these self imposed clergies and philosophers of religion and culture. Religion, culture fait anr terms created by man kind to bring people together in love. But not to differentiate people based on few idelogies. I am not a very learned person, but i dont think that in any of the religions homosexuality is opposed, but rather its brushed aside. A silent endurance that there are such people in society. So as long as we kept quiet it was ok, but now when we have raised our voice against discrimination its a huge hulla bulla.

Just because i am gay does not mean that i leave my religion. I do go to church, i do pray, actually i adore Mother Mary, and pray seeking her indulgence in life. And i am sure that will continue throughout my life but it dosent change the fact that i am gay. And if you are talking about culture, i better ask you to go and refer our history books before talking. Homosexuality is mentioned in every culture's book. And it is mentioned neither as good or bad, if our ancestors were wise to not to term it good or evil why cant the modern society leave it as it is and let us live we are your brothers and sisters still.

I am not so sure its the modern society but its the elderly who is having problems, i dont mean to be rude but you made your choices in your life time allow us to make our oumn choices.

Being Gay is not a crime, its not against any religion or culture, its just way of life. All are welcome to be part of it. we dont hate you but even we are part of the society Accept Us

Smile & Love

Last time i had said that when ever i feel like writing i dont find the system, so to splve the problem i have started making down few hints in my mobile..lets see how well i am able to develop it.

I am reading a novel, 'The Bear and The Eagle", while reading i came across section where a character is described as glowing, radiating with happiness due to something special happening in her privaate life.. Why do you think, this happens? Dit it ever happen to you?. Yes thats my anaswer.

When there are special and private happening s in your life your face flows, you happiness is reflected on your face. You tend to blush on each and every renderance of the word regarding the mysterious. And you try to act as ifis happening but your face gives you away....may be we can term this share of life as love.

To me love is when people remove lust and replace it with care, tenderness, admiration, oneness..hey untill now i am not able to find the right word for the feeling. Its been more than a year since i was in that situation, but still i dont know how to describe it. Hey why am i reminded of this now.....i dont know, ya i get it, there are a lot of "I dont knows in my life".....may be thats whats called life.; a quest to find the answers to all i dont knows.

But i think i know the reason for this sudden flush of thoughts and encounters, after coming to this country i have not met anyone, and also i was checking out old snaps, beautiful times of life (untill now, dont get me that i am old), really i do miss my life in Hyderabad..good times.

Hey everyone needs love, a hug, a tap on the back, may be these are trival things but these simple actions can creat wonders...even in offices, a simple smile to your subordinates is more than enough to make them feel relaxed and confident to approach you when required....smile is stress buster, smile a detector of happiness and above all love. NO let me rephrase it, if you are blushing at someone's name or for even simple things that reminds you of him then definitely you are in love. Its a special tinkle in you heart. I guess its feeling when you say you are on top of the world, bloody hell its exiting. To everyone who reading this fall in love once, even there might be a painful break up, but still ill say fall in love be in love.

Replanting to a desert Country

Hello Beautiful people it’s me again reporting to you live from a different country and different time era…hey I have not shifted my career to journalism.

Its been some time since I have written anything, not that I did not have anything to write (got loads and loads) but was not in a mood to write and when ever I am in a mood I don’t find a system. Ok the first thing, I have left my beloved country India, and have preached on to the oil rig called Oman, hmm I beg your pardon, Sultanate of Oman, does sound royal. Actually I used to write Oman, but when I heard some one mention Oman as Sultanate of Oman, even I felt hey it is a sultanate and it’s kinda royally.

Anyways I have been in this country for almost 2 months. Yes it is a desert country but on the contrary the first impression I got on landing here (night) was wow its beautiful wee list up, and the view in day light was also pretty beautiful. I was quiet surprised to see the landscaping and the gardens over here in Muscat. The sewage water is recycled and is used for all irrigation in landscaping. Oman is a clean country rarely do you find litter on the streets, well maintained. Of course that to all the expats (other citizens) here. You get to see Asians in plenty as well the Europeans and Americans.

Anyways after coming from India, when I got on the net (the next day I landed), I checked was the ability to access a gay interaction site, lovably called G4M, and unfortunately it is restricted, really felt bad. So that’s how I logged on to Orkut to look for people of my “……..”, (did not find the exact word). Ya the site is ok there are people, too early to give a verdict and most importantly not met anyone in person. Interestingly one of my college happened to say that t he ratio of Homosexuals is pretty neat (it was during a casual chat), reason was because of the system of marriage. Guys needs to give money to the girl in large sums to marry so its not that easy in getting married. I was like OK….

Got bloody good shopping mall, only thing is you don’t find a decent book shop and above that, books are expensive over here. I bought a book, almost 5 OMR. Hey but I have to say it was my first gay themed book that I have read or bought, “I am not myself these Days”, an interesting book on the life of a drag queen/artist and his love, a play boy. You feel the truthfulness of a gay family in those lines. Beautiful.


Anyways, my job takes me to the interior of Oman. So had been roaming and when I heard desert country I had pictured looses sands, cactus etc, you know a typical desert of the school books. Unfortunately or fortunately I don’t know but it is a dry land, solid land and of course you get to see Camels. I don’t know why I found the interior more intriguing, may be it was calm, and no head office politics, and I have to say it’s much cooler than Muscat. I think it’s because the loads of heat generated from AC, vehicles and buildings that the temperature in Muscat is high compared to the interior.

But something that I kills me (literally), is that I miss my friends, both Straight & Gay. People who know me personally know that I don’t make very much friends but all my friends are close friends, good friends. And I have to say Hyderabad Rocks compared to Oman. People know what to do in weekends here….I don’t know what to tell.

Right now I am just trying to reach out to people. And something I don’t understand is why does a Mallu flock to mallus, or a tamilian to tamilians, mangloreans to mangloreans, northees to morthees, kolkataians to kolkatains…when I got the job offer in way I did not wan to take the job because of this fact that there are mallus in large numbers here, and being a mallu even I will be wanted to remain in the crowd. Hey no offence guys but I prefer to have “friends” irrespective of the language border.

Beach Boy

I just finished reading Ardashir Vakil’s “Beach Boy”. Its my first book of the author, not that I am a fan of any particular author, I did like his detail oriented description throughout the book. The main reason for me to choose the book was the snap on the cover page; ‘a boy with starfish on his torso’ (it’s a photograph by B. Lezak/ Swanstock), there was something in the picture that attracted me to by the book. And more over I had gone looking for ‘A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth’, so I thought if not a suitable boy a beach boy atleast.
The meticulous details provided by the author are very much impressive. It makes us wonder how many aspects of our life have we left without even thinking or noticing. Yes I remember having noodles/ fried rice from the street hawkers of Hyderabad but never had I noticed the details, though I see the fellow using the ingredients I never wondered how did he get it or is there a story behind him. That is the specialty of the author, even if it’s a panwallah who gives credit to Cyrus (the lead character), he remains fresh in our memories.

The book is written in Indian English (English mixed with regional language) for everyone to relate to the character more. It clearly depicts the adolescence and its appetites, I am not sure if everyone will agree to me when I say adolescence is complicated as is adult life. I feel both adults and the young go through different crisis of life and knowingly or unknowingly adults expect the young to have the same feelings as they have. As the father passes away everyone is moaning but Cyrus is not, he wants to go for a movie and his aunty, Zenobia is seen speaking to him “You have to show respect for the dead”. Yes this simple line burns him; he is left with feeling that he did not love his dad. Why doesn’t she realize that he loved his dad very much and he is sad but does not know how to express his feelings? Even he is cajoled by Maharani (a character) to cry. ‘You should cry, Cyrus. It’s natural. Its good to cry’, may be its true that crying might ease the suffocation in the lungs. Everyone doesn’t react the s same why. Even I remember when my Grandparents passed away I did not cry, while all others around me were crying I did not feel like. Its not that I did not love them, I did but no tears. Hey, when my one of my grand parents from the maternal side passed away I some how made my eyes soggy, because I had a feeling that my relatives will think that I am ungrateful/ non loving and stuff, and the weird part is that I do get emotional quickly and used to cry. But on that day I did not.

As I had said Cyrus wanted to go to a movie while his father was dead, and his aunt is seen scolding him. Its different a thing that he is a movie buff (like me) he explains why he loves to go to moves especially alone. ‘I loved the darkness and the calm of the theater, the comfortable seats, the fact that no one could see me, and the certainty that for the next three hours I could abandon myself utterly to the twisting plot, the double roles, the comic interludes, the classic dialogue, and the thrilling fight sequences at the end. That’s why I like going to the pictures on my own. You never had to worry about the person sitting next to you and what they might be doing or thinking. I was much happier to be in an anonymous audience. That moment when the lights dimmed and the Indian Board of Censors white page with the name of the film written on it projected on the screen, no one knew me, and I didn’t know them, but for the duration of the film we were pulled together, wrapped up, and spellbound. Out of the vastness of our city we came into this ship of darkness, paid our due, had our fun, and returned once more to our separate lives.’ Even I do go for the movies sometimes for the above said reason, but not all the time. Yes ill have to agree with Karan Johar/ Sharukh Khan in their forum during Conclave 2009, “Movies are a form of Escapism”. An escape from the world of tensions and deadlines, may be that’s the reason everyone believes in fairytales and happy endings. So Bollywood you are our spa, relieve our tensions.

The detail-oriented description of Kerala, the preparation of the cook for the dinner party, the sexual encounters every aspect of the novel seemed to be related to each other such was splendid detail orientation. To all of you I would like to say is, be detail oriented to know things more clearly. Be it at office or the vacations get to know people and the history behind. I am reminded of a movie I had see few days back “Outsourced”, its story of an American guy coming to India to train call center/ BPO staff for this firm to sell American products to Americans on phone. The one of the reasons for the success of the move was detailing, even if it was a street hawker or a native walking on the street or a guy taking leak on the corner of the road, even a cow, the festival of Holi and how native India celebrates it, every aspect was framed bringing life to the movie.

The book is a very good read, but ofcourse it’s my opinion tastes may differ. I liked the movie “Shabd”, (a story of an author who sees everything through the eyes of his book) while all my classmates hated the movie; it was a relief that they did not trash me. Even now I like that movie, got both shades of colour & darkness. Hey, I just went down and happened to hear AR Rahman’s, Oscar wining, “Jai Ho”, on TV, it was the background score for a fashion show at Milan Fashion Week, February Fall collection 2009/10. As I said its just a matter of tastes.

Conclave of Change

“Change”, that seems to be the word of the moment. This simple word came to limelight with, Mr. B Obama, stressing on it as a part of election campaign and it worked for him, making him the President of the USA. And now it’s the time of India, to welcome “Change” to our midst.
I was following, the India Today, Conclave 2009, for the last two days, its not that I was keen on following it but while surfing the channels, I happened to tumble upon the opening ceremony/ Inaugural keynote address by ‘His Holiness The Dalai Lama’. As personified he is a monk with a simple smile, but a smile that captivates millions to listen to what he has to say. And that’s what made me leave my TV remote aside and watch the show. The topic of the Conclave was ‘Challenges of Change”, there have been many distinguished speakers from different walks of life, everyone offering their take on the society and what can /needs to be done for a betterment or ‘change’ as we put it.
And I have to say the “C” words were dominating. His Holiness spoke of the importance of Compassion & Communication, for the Change to happen. And I believe everyone will agree that these two simple words can really make the difference. Throughout the whole of conclave I was able to gather that everyone believes that change is possible only if there is communication, be it amendment of laws, cross border terrorism.
Hey even if you take the advertisement of lakme (lip gloss I believe), it says ‘Change to the colour of the future’, again its “Change”.
One more point that everyone stressed on was the ‘Role of the Youth’. Yes we are the power of the nation; we are the force that has to make the change. Yes we do accept it but let me remind all of you, Youth is basically a state of mind. And I quote Farhan Akhtar one of the speakers “Youth has nothing to do with age. It's the way you think, your ideas, your outlook on life that makes you young or old". I happened to hear a TV commentator say that many international film celebrities are celebrating their 40th birthday in 2009, and all these ladies are looking stunning, he went on to say that now 40’s are the current 20’s. Another commentator was saying in a different show that 60’s are the current 40’s intellectually speaking. So even if you are 60 you are in your youth, energetic and full of potential to make a change. Leaving that aside, the true fact remains that we youth needs to come forward to make “The Change”. Its time we enter the arena and start working within the system to strengthen it, to close the loopholes, to make changes.

The Mastero

Slumdog Millionare brought home oscar for AR Rahman for his composition 'Jai Ho" a beautiful expression for hope.

Yes he has made us proud once again in the global filim arena, but not my favourite. I fell in love with his composition after hearing it in the movie Roja-----he started off with chinna chinna assai, describing the beauty of mother nature followed by Rukumani Rukumai, an expression of love at the first night of marriage followed by puthuvellai mazhai, a sensual love song. Then he takes us to kaddal Roja a soulful expression of pain & rememberance of his lost love, and the patriotic score during the movie gives me goose bumps everytime i hear . He finally closes the movie with a splendid tamiza tamizha.

This post is a tribute to the mastero.

A Cry for Change

Its been few days since i have come home on vacation and every morning newspaper is talking about one thing and that is a political ralley thats happening in Kerala. It is supposed to be a reform movement but i did not get exactly what is it against. Its called "Nava Kerala( translated as: A New Kerala)", a new Kerala sounds promising eh? believe me people its just a political gimick, the polls are nearing. As expected the opposition party has come up with another ralley called "Kerala Raksa (translated as : Save Kerala)"...so its ralley season in Kerala. But an intresting thing is the working call seems to have been not bothered, actually its that they dont have time for these political gimicks.

Anyways i did not open the post for writing about these political parties. Few days back i happened to read an article about a play being staged over social prejudice about gays. Thanks to such few personel like Mr. Jambir Kamble who really believe in changing the way things are. If the goverment and the religious communites have been changing the laws & traditions on different matters then why alone gay rights are being forbidden. Its time the article 377 of the Indian Penal code be rewritten. Fellow citizens, brothers & sisters we need your support, homosexuality is not a disease.

I am a member of your family who is there always for you and Ill always be there for you but I would appretiate to accept me as who i am. I dont want to be cagged forever, each and everyone has the piece of the key that can set me free. I wont harm you, i am just here pleading to let me live free.

Last year i happened to hear a play of similar nature being staged in Kerala, but some how it was lost in the midst of hues & crys against it. If Kerala can the first state in India to achieve 100% literacy & now on the way of achieving 100% computer literacy, why cant we be the first to unitedly stand for a change? Requesting the political front to take up such causes, its time for reform movement or a change against social in-justice. When i was studying political history there was many reform movements namely Khilafat, Dandi March and so on for social causes but what will the future generation learn from our current society. Some may say it was a time when we were fighting for our freedom from British , even we are fighting for our freedom our birth right.

Its difficult as now we have to fight our own flesh and blood, making us weak. I am standing in front of you as on among you, but with a bleeding heart & tears in eyes