I was reading a post by ‘Single I the City’, had opened it hoping to hear he had a good time being in India. It turned out to be Mr. Hussain’s life journey. Hussain is his friend who is gay but he has married. Though earlier I would have said is he nuts but now I don’t. No I am not going to rewrite his blog, you guys can read it at ‘Out of India’, but I’ll have to say the reason which Mr. Hussain has given is more than thought provoking.
Hey look at all the gays around you, most of us are single and pathetic. Ok some of you might say hey I ve got a boy friend, its fine with me cool, but is that a Long Term Relationship? I am not sure if infidelity is a common thing only in gay relationships or is it equal for both in heterosexual or straight relationship. Ok let me make myself clear, what I mean by infidelity is we rarely do stay with one single guy throughout. Let alone even if we are with a boy friend we do lustfully stare at other hot guys and crave to have a night with him, may be even threesome. So my question, Are there any issues of being gay but still getting married to a girl?
We all crave for companionship rather than sex (unless it’s carnal pleasure only), so is there anything wrong in having a legal companion? No I am not taking about Marriage of Convenience, but actual marriage. But if you think morally it’s not good, Cheating, a mortal sin in whatever angle we look at. But if we don’t term it as cheating I don’t find any hassles in it. 3 - 4 Years back I remember meeting a guy back in my home town, for coffee, a decent young man, guess of late 30’s. He had told me he is married, my usual mode of action is just passover, but this guy seemed interesting and I spoke to him, and finally met him for coffee. Of course the main aim of meeting him, was to ask, WHY? which I obviously did. He replied, he loves his wife and his happy with his life, but he also gay so has to keep his attraction to guys at balance. Seriously I did not understand what this guy meant but I kinda respected it. Eventually I had to move out of town so did not keep in touch also I was having that guilt feeling, will I be a reason for some tensions in his married life and stuff. But to think about it now, guess I understand him much clearly.
Hey don’t get the idea that I am saying yes to marriage. I seriously don’t want to; neither do I believe in Marriage of Convenience (Gay marrying a Lesbian). Did I tell you guys that I had actually received a marriage proposal, a MoC from a girl through Planet Romeo? I was actually thrilled to receive it, and I told the same to a very dear friend of mine ‘Emotion Running Wild’
(same guy). He just asked me one question, Open Relationship and Marriage of Convenience are all fine, but are you that open minded to allow your wife to go and have sex with another lady, or may be share your bedroom? I did not answer that question, and he said, No, No one is. Even though I did not answer that, my silence was agreeing to him, may be the lesbian community might call me a Male Chauvinist and stuff. But yes 90% of us guys are Male Chauvinists.
Hey no offence lesbians, but I seriously don’t understand the concept. May be because I don’t have any lesbian friends or have not come across any lesbian blogs to get your perspective or because I am gay, never understood the contours of female anatomy. I was watching this movie “The Trip”, and there is the receptionist at Out Loud speaking to a lady.
“You Know I can understand two guys doing it, because something there is to grab hold down there, but two girls I mean, you got to have something to sink your teeth in to, right?”
Any comments on that? I have to agree to her.
Coming back the topic, Does you as a person comes first or your family? Yes in India, family is a requirement for marriage rather than love. And of course, the non supportive legal stand on homosexuality does support straight marriage. Hey it’s true; rarely do we see gay men above 30 yrs, who are single in India.
I am not saying any of these:
1) gays have to get married to girl and live secretive life to satisfy their cravings,
2) gays have to opt for MoC,
3) marry a gay guy where its permitted legally
4) Have an open relationship
5) remain single
What I am saying is I have got not a clue.
The priest said on Sunday’s gospel that, Life is a Calling – as a priest, or as family personnel, or as a singlet. I don’t think life is that less complicated.