Last 2 months I witnessed the breakup of three gay relationships. Isn’t gay relationships meant to work out?
These incidents made me wonder will there not be a ‘and they lived happy ever after’ ending in gay relationship. So I began to compare both gay and straight relationships, actually breakup does happen in plenty in straight relationships too, it’s just that we are so used to it that we do not take notice of it. Actually I was happy when I realized that. It just gave clarity that Relationships are hard be it gay or straight.
Interestingly if infidelity was the major reason for straight break up, the reason for gay breakups still remains a mystery. Everything seems to go fine, and one moment woof the bond is broken. But yes the common factor in those three break ups were distance. I guess distance does play a very important part in relationships. Me being a sucker to be in a relationship, remember asking a friend of mine, if anything will work out between us, and he replied that, if you were here, then we could have given a try.
The holding of hands, a hug, cuddle, etc, physical contact in some form or other seems to play a major role in any relationships. Don’t get me wrong but even in friendships it’s the same, a pat on the back, working out, cooking or doing the chores together, a drive etc have found to create wonders. As Massimo says to Steve in ‘Wedding Planner’, let’s do the male bonding. Physical closeness acts like the unseen binding force.
Yesterday, even I was craving for a hug. And I had written that to an online friend and he gave me a virtual hug. But unfortunately that was not enough, I needed the real thing. So what I have understood is physical intimacy is a requirement for relationships, to feel safe and make your heart and mind believe there are people who care for you.
After bring in two LDR...i have firm faith that I can't make them work...no matter how hard I try...no matter how much I want the other person to stay...i kno i hav my moments...bt i kne i could hav done better..just needed time....anyways..let me not use ur blog to let my emotions fly! :p
ReplyDeleteI do agree....the presence of the other person does work wonders....it works like chicken soup works fr a nasty cold and the way orange juice works fr a bad flu; instant cure!!!
I hope u find someone to hug....day after day! :)
I agrre wid u. distance does play a big role in break ups coz like u said, phycial closeness makes d bond stronger. holding hands, hugging, touchin, hell just bein close to the other person makes d relation more real, more sold. however some relations dont just end suddenly. there could be many factors which contribute n gradually lead to a break up.
ReplyDeleteHaving been in a long distance relationship for two years(and counting), I can't decide whether I should agree with you or disagree.
ReplyDeleteI have managed to "make it work"(hardly my doing), but I have to say that we crave for the few months a year we do have together and the only way I manage to live through the rest of the months is by blocking physicality completely. I don't even think of the times when we actually held hands, let alone anything else.
It's hard, but I guess it is possible if you can tolerate it. And friends can always be huggers!
@ Phunk
ReplyDeleteMy quest for my hugger continues..lol
@ Ultimate & H
I do have few online friends and few of them do know me quite deeply at a personnel level. But still i feel it would have been wonderful if i knew them physically. I remember meeting a online friend, in person, and the feeling was over whelming.