Obsessed ? Naahhhhhhhhhhhhh

Earlier this evening i was sitting in a park and was listening to FM, and they happed to play the song "Obsessed", Mariah Carey, and it made me think, what am i doing here?

OK, the park where i was sitting is the same place where we had agreed to meet, remember the "Take away"...lol. No no i am not in love with him or obsessed with him, but yes i do like meeting him, talking to him. Its simply because its not that often you find a guy of your sexual orientation quite near by to your place and on top who speaks and listens. Something secret, i had gone to the same place hoping to meet him twice but i knew he had said, Sunday. If at all he turns out !!!!!! Still keeping aside my behavior i will not agree to be termed obsessed .................its good to have some one near by to talk to, give warm hug, a peck on the lips.... (i am not blushing, but yes i am laughing, a sly)

Day 28.01.2010

Hmmmmm how shall I begin.

Ok here goes, for few days I had been receiving a mail on PR asking to meet a guy. One guy recommending for the other, and I don’t know both the guys. Though I was bit confused I did respond to it mail. But it was in a manner which has only a small window to continue the conversation.

Ok whatever be it, today I happened to get him online (freedom from offline messages). And I spoke to him, and came to understand that though they are different profiles, but the person who I was talking (is that the word, I don’t think so, still.....) to was the same guy. And it turns out that he stays next to my place, so we agreed to meet up.

But yes I have to say I had my doubts, and to hike it up, when I reached there I saw 2 guys. So I did not go directly to the meeting point but rather was taking a round. I was about to leave then I saw this guy coming, and that’s when I realised, I was looking at different guys. They happen to be there; of course it’s a public place.
Had a chat for some time, and concluded him to be “take away” (can be taken home). Though initially I had told him that I don’t have place today, but I had so I informed the same to him, and he agreed to come home. Yes, we came home had a chat and then ended difficult to pull from each other.

Let’s see if I get to meet him again, have kept fingers crossed...

So guys, that’s what has happened in my personnel life, now for professional life, its same old story ROUTINE. Really wish I could change that. Even today morning was not feeling like to go, even messaged my colleague saying ‘Wish it was holiday’, and interestingly she replied ‘ come to office and relax there’......I just felt like laughing, me to go to office and relax, gosh, I took my morning tea by 11:30, after starting by 08:00 hrs. But frankly speaking I think I do like to complete my work or be prepared rather than trying to make the ends meet at the last minute. And it’s also true that when i put my efforts I like to see results, or it being used for something better.

26 Jan 2010

Sometimes there are days where you don’t feel like doing anything. And today was one such day. From morning I was simply sitting, its not that I don’t have work, got plenty pending but still I was just killing time. Now a days its off season for me I guess.

Anyways, now a days am staying alone. Plus point - you got the whole small room to yourself (can invite anyone. .lol) negative aspect- Expensive. Though it’s been almost a year since in Oman, don’t have very much of savings, and now time to head back home for vacation is nearing. And vacation means gifts (traditional custom), and I am not so sure what to get and for whom all to get, and on top there is financial crisis.

I don’t understand why do people think that people working abroad, are all rich. To me its just a job, and I get paid, and it has its own expenses (living).
My bank balance is almost zero and people expect me to get married…gosh. Whom ever I called had to speak to me only about marriage Its time to start to think of getting married, when you came home we will start looking for a nice girl.. what profession do I want, do you plan to take her with you……I was showered with questions and questions, actually had called about 5- 6 people and among only one ( friend) did not say anything about marriage….when I was lying on bed I wanted to call and tell him ‘Thank you’.

I knew that I will be asked when I go home about marriage, but seeing the trailer I think its gonnna be a horror movie.
I have no idea what I am gonna tell…may be ill blurt out, that it’s illegal for same sex marriage in India.
Its not that I don’t want to hold hands, with the love of my life and walk the streets of life (sounds pathetic) .I really don’t want to end up single………….. but definitely not married and single. Have think of some way to dodge the fiery arrows of marriage.

I think ill go for a hair cut or a movie for a change


Ah yes, Happy Republic Day to all my fellow Indians

My life - a maze

Have you ver noticed that most of the things that happen in a day, is some how related in some bizzard way.

Today evening i was chatting with a college mate, and he was asking if i there is marriage on the cards when i go home this April/ May. As usuual i gave my well rehearsed reply of "Have not thought about it, and more over i am not able to look after myself, and how am i gonna look after someone else", usually this reply is enough to end the conversation, but today it did not. He said "that's what most people tell, and once its time everything happens and i will say family forced and stuff", and i just pinned him on saying, Is it the experience thats talking? (FYI, he is married)

Anyways after that i happened to go online and call up a friend or should i say my personnel diary, ya he is that. As usual he was blabbering about his love life, getting almost caught by his to be in-laws and stuff. Once he begins yapping there is nothing stopping him. Ok so today after the whole epic drama, he was like lets me screw this felow in gettting proper answers, so he stated his shower of question.

Flashback:
I am a bit loaffy about a guy whom i met, and he knows about it

Q: Are you serious with him?
Q: Do you see, you guys having a life togfether?
A: I dont see that happening as he is bi- guy

Q: Do you intend on living your life with someone?
A: I havent thought about it.

Q: When will you start saying something clearly?
A: Yes i do wish to be with a guy, but i dont think that's practically possible.

Words of Wisdom
Its a seperate think to have friend and to have a lover. Though both of them wants only good for you, its there are things very special between yourself and love (the next think he said about some social security and stuff i did not get it)

I intervened in the conversation by saying that 'one thinks from the heart and the other with the brain & heart'............i just said that, to say something. Though in my heart i knew thats utter bullshit.
And out of the bloom he clicked a chord, a name from my life in hyderabad, and that was more than enough to keep my mouth shut for long.

Wisdom continues: Yes mostly people come abroad, and use gay sex as an excuse, but their ultimate aim is getting settled with a nice girl (i dont remember the rest)



Yes its time for me to start thinking

I feel like screaming on top of my lungs "I want to settle down with some nice guy, but have not found one" Whom ever i meet mostly have got plans of getting married to a nice girl and have a secret relationship (none has told that, but assumed from words).