What do you Call it?

What do I call our relationship as? Ya it’s me itself who had said “I hate Tagging”. Neither do I want it to be tagged. But if I ever was to call our relationship, some name I am not sure what will it be? Maybe ‘Friendship with special privileges’, Hmmmmm Na I don’t think it can be engrossed in those 4 words. It is more than that. May be crush could be the more appropriate word.

Again, crush is not the word; guess there is no word in English dictionary that can portray my exact feeling. May be its Crush and More, whatever be it. It just reminded me of what Nathan said to Phunk; “I think you like being in a relation that's why you kept having one crush after another!"’. True very true I am looking for a relationship, or should I put it this way desperately looking for love. But unfortunately whomever I have a probability of falling in relationship comes with an extra baggage.

I met him through a friend of mine. I did not have even the wildest clue that I’ll be meeting someone. But the moment I said Hello to him it was,................ a connection at first glance. You must have heard love at first sight and stuff. It was definitely not one of those. It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. I don’t remember we having that uncomfortable formal chats, we did speak freely, personal, job related, whatever topics that we could think of under the sky........you know the friends chat. Anyways then a few days later after the initial meet, we met up for a bite, had chats, and then went separate ways. (Don’t think naughty). Mostly on every day we used to talk, and our friendship grew. Twice I invited him over dinner (had 2 reasons (1) I would get time to spent with him (2) I don’t like going to fine dining restaurants alone), but unfortunately it never worked out. Whenever it comes to Us it never works out, the claws of fate to prevent us. Even tried meeting up before I left for vacation, and I’d have to say I was bloody pissed that even it did not happen. Left with a heavy heart. Even when at home had spoken to him, and once when I called he was sick. And it scared me to the core; he was admitted to the hospital with a bleeding nose. Thankfully he recovered soon.


Upon my arrival the first thing I did was sent message to him announcing my touchdown, and the weird thing was the message was showing pending. Don’t remember what my reaction was, but I did mix up my luggage with someone, and had to rush back to the airport to resolve the issue. Anyways, he had lost his cell or something, and taken a new number, which I was not aware of. When I got is call the very next day I was like, jumping with Joy. The rush of happiness that I felt when I heard his voice was unbelievable. Met him the next day, though in an uncomfortable situation we managed to have a kiss. Oh that one single kiss was enough to turn my whole world upside down. From then on most of our talks included flirting, (hey don’t mistake it as dirty talks) it was pure unadulterated flirting, mixed with general things; music seemed to be a very good bond underlying. Somehow under all this jealousy or possessiveness was creeping in among us at least for me.

Though both of us have time on Friday, we have never been able to meet. Mostly on Thursday evenings its parties and stuff that extends up to late early mornings, which drains out the energy. Yes we did meet, usually Thursday afternoons. An hour is never sufficient for chatting, music and passion (which is late bloomer). But lately I ve begun to feel angry, or heartbroken, as rarely does our plans works out. Not sure if it’s not working out or he does not want it to work out, but for every broken plans there is some story. True or not I don’t know, but the bottom line remains “We don’t get to meet”................... and it’s killing me.

I am not saying he is the love of my life though I want him to be the one, but for various reasons he is not the one or he can’t be the one. Yes he is a special friend a dear friend, and will remain forever. Will be a fairytale ending, of happily ever after, I want it too.

Why Why Why

Why Why Why, can somebody answer me? Why don’t I feel the same the way to people that love me, people who don’t love me, and end up in bleeding hearts??

I am not sure if it’s common thing in love. Heard elders say ‘Love the person who love you, not the one that you love’, may be it’s because it’s true. Whenever I fall in love why does it be one sided love?

3-4 guys have been nuts in love with me but as I did not feel that way, had to say no to them, may be its payback time for me. I don’t know what is that I feel for them, is it love, crush, infatuation I don’t know, the only thing I know is I have feelings for the guy, but he is not mine. For once it’s understandable but when it repeats its pains badly deeper the previous cut goes.

And whatever people say, kiss is the best connection. One single kiss can turn your whole world around.

Adventure continues....

Hmmm, I guess it’s only fair if I wrote about my Rise of Aphrodite (Courtesy American Pie- Beta House), which I carried from India to Oman. After all I said, I will be doing it, but definitely I am not going to write an erotic story, that’s not me, whenever I had a good time sexually my descriptions is reduced to minimum. Guess I d like to keep things under the blanket under it only.

I am not sure if I am not getting the right words or I feel shy, don’t know how to write.

Hmmm Shy, that was what I was feeling when I was with a friend of mine. Seriously guys I was feeling shy, he has great sexy eyes, and you know me ‘Chatter box’, I was going on and on, and he kept staring at me, and the moment I look at him I freeze, blush, don’t know what. And the bloody stupid thing was that he knew I was feeling shy. We have been flirting for long long time on the net, but never did I suspect we will be meeting (though deep I wanted to, you know naughty me) as we are in entirely different parts of the world. Actually few days before I flew from India, he had told about the short stay in Muscat, was overjoyed. On the day we were to meet I was feeling out of place (what to wear point), so went out and brought a jean & sneakers. (When I was commenting on Phunk factor I was going through the same feeling.) Anyways the bloody thing is that I did not get to meet him on that day, we met the next day, and I went directly from office, so even now all those are still not out of the bag. I remember telling another of my friend that I am going at Splash - Centre Point shopping, and he was like how did the shopping come to your head, you just landed from India. Thank goodness that he doesn’t know that I have not even worn it after my crazy shopping spree.

Ok this guy whom I am talking about, is someone whom I met here. An absolute Sweet Heart, we chat like long long hours, flirt + clatter all rubbish under sky, that’s what we particularly do. Actually he was one of the 2 persons, whom I knew will be missing from Muscat when I came to India.

Am I in a relationship with him?
I don’t know, but definitely friends

Am I in love with him?
Yes

Hey why do I always fall for Straight and Bisexual guys? Ya its true whomever I go head over heels are mostly not gays, and stupidly I ve got few gay friends who has got the same feeling for me. Hmm reminds me of a song in an album, it’s about different people going behind others for love. Don’t remember the artist; let me see if I can get it.

Ok coming back to him, I meet him on most alternate days, even yesterday when I came back from interior of Oman (job requirements), the first thing I did was go and meet him. But when we plan like a date, it never works out. Something or other pops up. No idea when that is gonna happen, chances for that to happen this month is low as I am busy on job front with audits and stuff. Anyways have kept fingers crossed.

Vacation Diaries

I had been in India but have not written about my vacation, encounters and all other stuff. Though when I had reached India I thought will be writing quite a lot, but I guess I was lazy. Anyways here goes. It’s going to be incoherent thoughts & events.
Had many plans or let’s say had a scheduled vacation but everything flopped. Was at home mostly, on the couch. Even my mom was saying “Once you come home you remain here, and if gone outside then no idea when you are back and even when asked when you will be back, you have got no answer”, hey it’s true. That’s me

Something much unexpected throughout the whole vacation was having a brief stunt when I am with my friends (Straight). Had gone for an outing with my friends and had stayed at one of their places and there I happened to meet a guy, my friends roommate, and we hit of together in the night. I guess it’s the close proximity of our bodies that created the sexual tension; of course it had to be released.

I have made enemies with my relatives this time. Ya I did not visit any of them. And I am sure all of them are pissed. And I what they are going to say too I am aware, “He is rich, now he does not want any of us”, but they don’t know on the contrary I am broke than I was in India. I did not go for two reasons: (1) I do not like to go to visit relatives’ places, even I have written that many a times ‘I hate doing house calls’. Hey I was asking mom the same thing, just because I came from somewhere other than home town does it mean that I have to go visit all of them. Even people who are in home town meet each other only for a function or so, may be once or twice a year, then why should I? (2) I had not brought anything for my relatives, and I did not want to go empty handed. And I am sure they will ask what I brought and stuff, it’s embarrassing.

I’ve made a young boy fall nuts in love with me, at least he tell me so. Anyways whatever be that. Met a guy through Planet Romeo, we interacted sometime and he was like you are’ The One’ (Not Neo of Matrix). And I was like,’ hello you have not even met me or spoken even and how can you say I am the one’ interestingly he is quite a young guy of 18 yrs (definitely off my radar), but it seems he was in a 6-7 relationships and all was a failure. Actually it’s that 6 breakups that made me want to meet him. And eventually I did, initially a brief meet then a detailed one. And he is crazy now, was even saying he is going to delete his account on PR, as he has found me. Don’t know if he did it or not. Anyways I told him, not to. And asked him to meet other guys, keep his options open. Yes he is a sweet guys but I don’t get butterflies when I speak to him.

Speaking of butterflies in stomach, I did meet such a guy. I guess it was the second or third day I landed, met him through PR again. PR is such a cool site check it out, but of course there are always Jackals in the jungle beware. OK ok...so I met him up walked for some time and under the darkness and in between chats we did exchange some flavours. But unfortunately that did not proceed any further. He really gave me butterflies.

But throughout the whole of vacation there was one other guy. Had chatted with him while in Muscat. Had made it clear that I am not going to sleep with him from here itself. Again he wanted me to be the one, but I had made it clear I won’t be, I guess I had written about him earlier. Whatever be it. He is a sweet guy, but though he claims to be gay I don’t think he is in the right pool. He is the guy whom I had written about having many shoes & stuff, in’ Am I Gay Enough?’ We used to hang out a lot, have pizza, barbeque chicken and all.

In between all these sweetness, the painful part was that I was not able to meet a dear friend of mine. Though we have been interacting for long may be more than 5 yrs, we have not met. I know him very dearly, his bf, his family background and stuff but still I have not seen him. This time I was sure to meet him, but unfortunately though I had tried to meet him, he was not able to make it due to some family emergencies. That was a bit saddening. His gifts are still lying at my house, have to tell mom to give off the perfume at least to my cousin brother. Hey when I say gifts don’t get large ideas main attraction was porn cds. That’s what he told me to get him....lol. And do you know what in front of him, I am the silent guy. I am a chatter box but compared him I am nothing, once he starts its impossible to make his stop unless you disconnect the call. Deep Deep Deep, way deep underneath all those clattering he is nice guy...lol.

Ok I guess I had covered all the main events......oh ya I forgot to add one thing. A day before I was to fly it dawned on me that I need to have a last encounter before I leave, and oh boy did I not try.... Unfortunately most of them did not have a place, and I did not want to invite anyone back home so I had to fly back horny, and it’s here that was the release point for my horniness.....hmm let that be the next blog.
In the spirit of Football the snap has to be appropriate guess !!!!