Movie Marathon

Today 26.10.2010 was gay movie marathon day for me. Was watching “Glee”, yesterday and I dozed off, no idea what time, and when I woke up, computer was still on. And the first thing which I saw was my pen drive. Got some good movies from a friend of mine and was yet to watch it. So I thought let watch a movie before I get up. And I plugged in the drive, and started to watch the movies. The first one which I chose was ‘Power Tools’, which accidently happened to be XXX movie, so watched it and of course had to bring down the morning boner. Hey guys any idea why do we get a bonner in the morning?

After which I switched on to “Summer Storm”, a feel good movie of friends, and how if you got the right friends we get the power to do what is true to oneself. As the main character says, “Can’t I kiss the girl because I am Gay”, what he is just implying is we are like you.

“Spin the Bottle”, I am sorry but I have not a clue what the movie was trying to say, but I have to say Jonah, he is hot. And his sweet revenge, not sure if he planned it or not, but yes I liked.

“The Trip”, was simply over the top. Kind of hated the 70’s look but have to say the he can pull of whatever the look is. He is cute he is hot, and got a boyish charm appealing to people. Something which I understood was, if your love is true, where ever you go or whatever you do or how separate you are, if you know he is nearby you will rush to him.

"Yossi & Jagger", you can fall in love anywhere. Be it the icy cold mountains of border patrol. At the end, there is scene, where his (Jagger) mom tells that she did not really know her son. And it was Yossi, who had to tell her that her son’s favourite song was The Soul by Rita. Hey we don’t want to be closeted anymore, dear brothers, sisters, parents, relatives, do you know what my favourite song is?

“Logger heads”, loved the turtles, but sorry apart from that, hmmmm I don’t know. Movie seemed very much intense, actually too complicated for me.

“East Side Story”, was simply entertaining. I just love Mexicans, on the contrary the whole of Latinos. I just love Spanish, Portuguese, sorry don’t understand a single word they say, but I have to say there is passion in language, Seems to convey lot of emotion. And I actually like their English, kind of exotic. Fell in love after watch the movie ‘Women On Top’, Penelope Cruz and her chilli, Woooooh. Ok coming back to the ‘East Side Story’, it is a simple movie, no underlying message and stuff, very colourful and vibrant. A feel good movie, happy thoughts.

Then i switched to a movie “Pedro”. Frankly speaking i was looking a bit of that Latin touch. Yes it did satisfy my Latin craving as Pedro was Mexican basically, but I did not even notice that. It is great great movie, of course an emotional one and I was crying and crying, actually I did not even realize it, but yes it’s a very touching movie. It’s about Pedro, an HIV +ve, who uses his life to educate the masses about HIV and to use protection always be it Vaginal or Anal sex. Actually it’s a true story.

Pedro reminded me of another movie, from my own bollywood, “My Brother Nikhil”, again another awesome movie. It’s about the fight of a Swimming champion who gets affected with HIV to get accepted, and to make people understand that HIV is a disease and anyone can contradict it. Apart from that there is one more reason I love the move, Purab is one of the actors, and I love him, actually I guess it’s because one of my class mates happed to tell me that I look like him....lol. I ve got no idea, how does he look like me, according to her, it’s our mannerism. God knows what the heck that is. Hey no complaints, I do adore him.

Yup, I have not had a thing to eat accept for cakes and chocolates. Hey did I tell any of you that I shall keep some for you, then I am sorry. Anyways, in the movies list I see 2 more prominent names that I have heard, it’s “Latter Days” & “Shelter”; of course ill watch them pretty soon.

Ok leaving movies apart, let me take time to thank Phunk, in sharing with me “Cherry on the Top” blog award. Thanks a zillion times (hey is zillion a word?). He had urged all his winners to write more, and for a few days I was feeling dry for words or I guess it was the mood. Wanted to write about a party which I had been to.
Hey did I tell you guys that I had my birthday last month, if not 25th Nov was my birthday. So first week of December few of my colleagues had been in town, and they wanted a party, so I said yes and we all went to a dance bar. A Dance bar, ooooooo, I hated it. This is the second time I ve ever been to a dance bar, and I hated it both the times. I don’t get it what is it that people enjoy. It’s basically few women trying to dance, according to me the term dance bar is totally inappropriate and the whole set up is awful, come-on people, it’s supposed to be a bar. All bright lights and the seating are in an examination hall style, and on top once u enter all the waiter’s comes in an shakes your hand. I can’t be rude so I shook the hands, I did it as I thought my colleagues knew them, but it’s later I realised they do the same for all. Hey to me a bar is a place to sit and chat under dim light, don’t mind if it’s lit up if I am at the counter.

Oops as always I end up in a different topic, you know me guys. If my literature beans do not germinate before 31st, its Happy New Year 2011 to all of you. Kisses.

Magic in the Air

If anyone asks what the best time of the year is, what’s your answer?

To me it’s simple “Christmas”. I consider Christmas time to be the most magical time of the year. And this year, it took Silver Bells” to remind me of the seasons arrival. Usually I am all full of cherry for Christmas, but this time I had totally forgot its Christmas, it was just December to me. Thank goodness that last Sunday’s closing hymn was ‘Silver Bells’. And she clinked well to awake me up.





I love all those Christmas movies, the carols, the rich plum cakes, the manger, children dressed as little angles, Santa Claus, the late night mass, the cold nights, stars, decorations....I love all about Christmas. I don’t remember which movie or the series gave me this messages but its beautiful message, and I am going to share with you. “Christmas is the time of the year where you have a beautiful reason to take that extra step for the ones you love. Spread the Christmas Spirit, of being for one another, go that extra mile”.



And Oman this time of the year looks the prettiest. The creeping of the winter chill, the flowers blooming and of course the lights and decorations being national day. Hey did you guys know His Majesty Sultan Qaboos, is celebrating his birthday and 40 yrs in throne, and I have heard that this 40 yrs were glorious years for the country. Under his leadership, the country has progressed in a steady manner and is still continuing. Sir, you rock, and your country is amazingly beautiful.



I don’t know, but Christmas & December brings magic in the air. People are cheerful, vibrant, shopping, sending cards and gifts. While in school, used to buy card and cards to sent it to relatives and friends, on 22nd & 23rd used to go for carol singing, and 24th used to go to church to help in making of the crib, and late afternoon rush back to home as mom will be screaming about who is going to make the crib, decorate the Christmas tree at home. It was fun man, and now. I don’t know it’s been years since I was at home for Christmas. Hey guys, if you are able to be at home for Christmas don’t miss that opportunity, that’s the best gift you can give to your family.



Merry Christmas to all of you.

Book of Secrets

Yesterday I was chatting with a friend, hmmm not chatting exactly we were flirting, at least I was. Actually it’s the first time I flirted via SMS; I have to say I did like it. Usually I do flirt (talking) of course based on the mood. But I have to say while flirting with him there was zero mischievous intentions, just was in a mood to flirt. Of course we did not start as flirting, we were just chatting, but if you are gay, then I am sure flirting is a part of chatting. But sometimes when I read his response, I felt like going and whacking and ask him if he doesn’t know to flirt, due to some earlier issues he was always having the doubt if I am flirting or getting serious. Anyways, later the evening I met him, and he turned out to be a cool hot guy, as depicted.

No no, this post is not about him. It’s about a contradiction that got triggered during the chats.  Let’s rewind (of course these won’t be exact words)

Me: There are only a few people that I will trust my life, my secrets with, and it’s not necessary that my boyfriend has to be in that list. 

Hot guy: Your boy friend need to know every apart of you there should not be any secrets between boyfriends.

Me: Of course he can know all part of me, Physically.

Hot Guy: There should never be secrets in between both of you (or something like that)

Me:  Just because he is my boyfriend doesn’t mean he gets free passage ticket to my secrets.  He may eventually turn out to be a part of my trust circle.

Ok most of you will agree with the Hot Guy, but do you think it’s that boyfriends need to be an open book. Ill recommend a clean slate.

Hey don’t think that this is not restricted only to gay relationships, I am talking of whatever relationship that comes to your mind. . According to me Trust is something that has to be earned; it’s never a free pass. As Beyonce says " Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if its broken", Lady Gaga " But you can still see the crack in M.....F reflection"---- Telephone  

Ga Ga

Lady GaGa. .... When all my friends in the Gay world were going, Lady Gay Gay over her, I was like Yuck when I saw her videos. Come-on you can’t blame me, she has got weird factor prominent in all her videos. But I have to say there is something in her music or videos that make me want to watch it again and again. May be it’s the cool music, or weirdness in the videos or the amazing choreography. Whoever her choreographer is, he is doing an amazing job. Next time you watch her video, just imagine her dancing in a sexy costume, without all those weird kinky costumes, and you will find that those are cool steps. And those background dancers are perfecto.



Now days we have gone so used to her weirdness that if she gives a performances, or brings out a video without it, then we might not recognise her. She made the weirdness look cool; she is a style icon, if I may say so.

Oil & Vinegar

Hey church goers what is the first thing that you notice once you enter the church? What I first notice at Ruwi church is the flowers at the altar. This Sunday also I was admiring at the tint of blue among the greens and yellows, kinda sexy. Anyways last Sunday, the church was celebrating Mission Sunday, so the sermon was related to missionaries throughout the world. Seriously I don’t remember what the priest was trying to convey. But something that strokes me was the loneliness of these missionaries. How much all these priest and nuns would be craving for a hug. Hey I crave for hug every now and then, so how on earth are they living without being able to hug, or show any physical expression of love. The first thing that I am going to do on reaching home next time is give my brother a huge hug, he is a priest. Ya these missionaries do sometimes live in bizarre conditions to fulfil the work of the lord and share the news of the church, but if u asks me it’s this willing emotional isolation that makes them different from all of us. Hats off to all you guys. Though I was fascinated with the priest’s ceremonial robes, and in lower school I used to tell that I want to be a priest, it definitely was a good thing that I came to my senses before ............

(I am a catholic, so all my expressions are based on catholic priest)



Ok leaving the priests and nuns far away lets come to married life. Yesterday one of my friends called and told she got married last week.

Normal Person: Congratulations,
Me: even I said congratulations
She cries and tells that she ran away from family, shamed the parents and got married.

Normal Person: Sorry to hear that, but now you both are married don’t cry be happy
Me: Wow, you had a bollywood style, filmi marriage
Even she was taken aback hearing my reaction. Of all the people this was the weirdest reaction she got it seems. Ya I have proved myself to be nut case. But after the initial out blast I became the normal person, consoling, advising, and wishing them all the very best and stuff.




That song was to my prospective lover boy...lol

Relationships

Last 2 months I witnessed the breakup of three gay relationships. Isn’t gay relationships meant to work out?

These incidents made me wonder will there not be a ‘and they lived happy ever after’ ending in gay relationship. So I began to compare both gay and straight relationships, actually breakup does happen in plenty in straight relationships too, it’s just that we are so used to it that we do not take notice of it. Actually I was happy when I realized that. It just gave clarity that Relationships are hard be it gay or straight.

Interestingly if infidelity was the major reason for straight break up, the reason for gay breakups still remains a mystery. Everything seems to go fine, and one moment woof the bond is broken. But yes the common factor in those three break ups were distance. I guess distance does play a very important part in relationships. Me being a sucker to be in a relationship, remember asking a friend of mine, if anything will work out between us, and he replied that, if you were here, then we could have given a try.

The holding of hands, a hug, cuddle, etc, physical contact in some form or other seems to play a major role in any relationships. Don’t get me wrong but even in friendships it’s the same, a pat on the back, working out, cooking or doing the chores together, a drive etc have found to create wonders. As Massimo says to Steve in ‘Wedding Planner’, let’s do the male bonding. Physical closeness acts like the unseen binding force.

Yesterday, even I was craving for a hug. And I had written that to an online friend and he gave me a virtual hug. But unfortunately that was not enough, I needed the real thing. So what I have understood is physical intimacy is a requirement for relationships, to feel safe and make your heart and mind believe there are people who care for you.

Season Learnings /Experiences

Eid Mubarak to one and all.

Not a clue what does the season of Ramadan or Ramzan symbolise, whatever be it I am sure it was time to reflect on our deeds / actions, and ask forgiveness for all the wrong we have done, and make ourselves a better person.

Anyways this is my second Ramadan season in Sultanate of Oman. I prefer it to be written as Sultanate of Oman rather than Oman, sounds royal. Of course it’s a sultanate, she has got her Sultan. A mighty spirited person, who has got a vision for his country, heard this country has prospered very much under his guidance and God’s Blessings. Oh I again deviated from what I started...oops.

As said it’s my Second Ramadan in this beautiful country, actually it’s the third time I am experiencing the whole Ramadan Kareem. First was when I was in Hyderabad, though I was 3 years in Hyderabad it was only once I had the first hand experience. Hey don’t get me wrong when I say first hand experience, I did not fast, no no, but definitely I used to be a part of the Iftar ceremony. Yes it was basically fruits, dates, juice, and savouries to any onlooker but for a person who is a part of it, will understand the love and the happiness they share. Ok I am in the QA dept and most of these colleagues with whom I used to join for iftar was from Maintenance dept. and i dont think I need to tell, Maintenance and QA are enemy depts. (professionally speaking), but in cafeteria it was simply great. Hey I used to even go late so I can be a part of them. It was simply great to be a part of their tradition.

Last year when Ramadan season, (my first in a Muslim dominated country) the impression what I was given was “be careful if you do something wrong you will rot in jail for ever”. No idea from where did that impression come from, but yes was bit scared I have to say. Fortunately I was not on Santa’s naughty list, so no jail for me..lol. I am not very much an eater so the closed shops were not much of a concern to me. It was like another day to me, oh ya had quite a few off days . But this year is a total new experience.

Ok remember the friend who made me cry, he is basically a Muslim. He used to send quotes from the Holy Book, along with its translations, and definitely it’s good to read words of wisdom at the beginning of the day. While speaking to him I got a different view of the whole season, and my respect for the people who observe the fasting/ ‘Roza’ grew tremendously. Of course he is a very close minded person when it comes to his traditions (which I do condone), but from him I learnt this. Ramadan (Iftar basically) is a time for families to come together, a time were the doors of the houses and hearts are thrown wide open to spread love happiness. The phrases “I care for you, I am there for you” were resonated in their actions. Most of us expatriate who are bachelors or living alone, we were invited to be a part of their joy and happiness. It’s a great feeling when you are a part of a family, when you feel there is someone who cares for you, never are there words to express it.



In between this overwhelming feeling, I had to come to few oil camps for professional reasons and here I got an entirely different experience. And it did hurt me very bad. I did not find the brotherhood or love that I had experienced earlier, but somehow the whole Iftar was just reduced to a time to Hog. I am terribly sorry to use the word, but that what I saw. The whole sprit of the season was missing. Demands for certain food items were over the top. I’ll have to say the catering crew is doing a great job, preparing meals for fasting and non fasting people, and on top putting up with all these tantrums....uff. Felt like Roza has just reduced to mere fasting, the compassion in words and actions, peace of the heart, do good time etc the phrases associated with Ramadan season was missing.

I have one request to all, these season of Ramadan, season of Lent or whatever is we call; it’s a time to show compassion. Let’s all be considerate. Hey i do feel like i have given a sermon, hmmmm. In school, when i was asked whats my ambition, i used to tell that i wanted to be a Father/priest, dont get the idea that i was very religious and stuff, i just liked the clothes which priests wore. .. lol, may be i should have.

Emotions running wild

I feel like shedding tears, unfortunately its drought in my tear glands. I’ve got a friend of mine, whom I have never mentioned earlier. I just love him, adore him and envy him.

Now, why do I envy him? He is married got a kid, and he has got many similar friends , and when he shows me all those snap of family outings get together, a lump develops in my throat. Even I too want to have a family. For few days where ever I turn I see families, kid sitting on the shoulder of a father, and few of father’s friends talking/wooing kid to come to their arms; a son/daughter walking along with his father, having an ice cream, will I not get to have those pleasures.

When I am with him, sometimes I do wonder what is it like to be married, have a family, kids. Of course he every time, does, give me lectures on marriage life, family commitments and all those emotional stuff. Don’t you want to have a family?, this is a question I would like to post to all people who are above 25 yrs, gay and single.

Ooops the drought season has been taken over by rainy season.

What do you Call it?

What do I call our relationship as? Ya it’s me itself who had said “I hate Tagging”. Neither do I want it to be tagged. But if I ever was to call our relationship, some name I am not sure what will it be? Maybe ‘Friendship with special privileges’, Hmmmmm Na I don’t think it can be engrossed in those 4 words. It is more than that. May be crush could be the more appropriate word.

Again, crush is not the word; guess there is no word in English dictionary that can portray my exact feeling. May be its Crush and More, whatever be it. It just reminded me of what Nathan said to Phunk; “I think you like being in a relation that's why you kept having one crush after another!"’. True very true I am looking for a relationship, or should I put it this way desperately looking for love. But unfortunately whomever I have a probability of falling in relationship comes with an extra baggage.

I met him through a friend of mine. I did not have even the wildest clue that I’ll be meeting someone. But the moment I said Hello to him it was,................ a connection at first glance. You must have heard love at first sight and stuff. It was definitely not one of those. It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. I don’t remember we having that uncomfortable formal chats, we did speak freely, personal, job related, whatever topics that we could think of under the sky........you know the friends chat. Anyways then a few days later after the initial meet, we met up for a bite, had chats, and then went separate ways. (Don’t think naughty). Mostly on every day we used to talk, and our friendship grew. Twice I invited him over dinner (had 2 reasons (1) I would get time to spent with him (2) I don’t like going to fine dining restaurants alone), but unfortunately it never worked out. Whenever it comes to Us it never works out, the claws of fate to prevent us. Even tried meeting up before I left for vacation, and I’d have to say I was bloody pissed that even it did not happen. Left with a heavy heart. Even when at home had spoken to him, and once when I called he was sick. And it scared me to the core; he was admitted to the hospital with a bleeding nose. Thankfully he recovered soon.


Upon my arrival the first thing I did was sent message to him announcing my touchdown, and the weird thing was the message was showing pending. Don’t remember what my reaction was, but I did mix up my luggage with someone, and had to rush back to the airport to resolve the issue. Anyways, he had lost his cell or something, and taken a new number, which I was not aware of. When I got is call the very next day I was like, jumping with Joy. The rush of happiness that I felt when I heard his voice was unbelievable. Met him the next day, though in an uncomfortable situation we managed to have a kiss. Oh that one single kiss was enough to turn my whole world upside down. From then on most of our talks included flirting, (hey don’t mistake it as dirty talks) it was pure unadulterated flirting, mixed with general things; music seemed to be a very good bond underlying. Somehow under all this jealousy or possessiveness was creeping in among us at least for me.

Though both of us have time on Friday, we have never been able to meet. Mostly on Thursday evenings its parties and stuff that extends up to late early mornings, which drains out the energy. Yes we did meet, usually Thursday afternoons. An hour is never sufficient for chatting, music and passion (which is late bloomer). But lately I ve begun to feel angry, or heartbroken, as rarely does our plans works out. Not sure if it’s not working out or he does not want it to work out, but for every broken plans there is some story. True or not I don’t know, but the bottom line remains “We don’t get to meet”................... and it’s killing me.

I am not saying he is the love of my life though I want him to be the one, but for various reasons he is not the one or he can’t be the one. Yes he is a special friend a dear friend, and will remain forever. Will be a fairytale ending, of happily ever after, I want it too.

Why Why Why

Why Why Why, can somebody answer me? Why don’t I feel the same the way to people that love me, people who don’t love me, and end up in bleeding hearts??

I am not sure if it’s common thing in love. Heard elders say ‘Love the person who love you, not the one that you love’, may be it’s because it’s true. Whenever I fall in love why does it be one sided love?

3-4 guys have been nuts in love with me but as I did not feel that way, had to say no to them, may be its payback time for me. I don’t know what is that I feel for them, is it love, crush, infatuation I don’t know, the only thing I know is I have feelings for the guy, but he is not mine. For once it’s understandable but when it repeats its pains badly deeper the previous cut goes.

And whatever people say, kiss is the best connection. One single kiss can turn your whole world around.

Adventure continues....

Hmmm, I guess it’s only fair if I wrote about my Rise of Aphrodite (Courtesy American Pie- Beta House), which I carried from India to Oman. After all I said, I will be doing it, but definitely I am not going to write an erotic story, that’s not me, whenever I had a good time sexually my descriptions is reduced to minimum. Guess I d like to keep things under the blanket under it only.

I am not sure if I am not getting the right words or I feel shy, don’t know how to write.

Hmmm Shy, that was what I was feeling when I was with a friend of mine. Seriously guys I was feeling shy, he has great sexy eyes, and you know me ‘Chatter box’, I was going on and on, and he kept staring at me, and the moment I look at him I freeze, blush, don’t know what. And the bloody stupid thing was that he knew I was feeling shy. We have been flirting for long long time on the net, but never did I suspect we will be meeting (though deep I wanted to, you know naughty me) as we are in entirely different parts of the world. Actually few days before I flew from India, he had told about the short stay in Muscat, was overjoyed. On the day we were to meet I was feeling out of place (what to wear point), so went out and brought a jean & sneakers. (When I was commenting on Phunk factor I was going through the same feeling.) Anyways the bloody thing is that I did not get to meet him on that day, we met the next day, and I went directly from office, so even now all those are still not out of the bag. I remember telling another of my friend that I am going at Splash - Centre Point shopping, and he was like how did the shopping come to your head, you just landed from India. Thank goodness that he doesn’t know that I have not even worn it after my crazy shopping spree.

Ok this guy whom I am talking about, is someone whom I met here. An absolute Sweet Heart, we chat like long long hours, flirt + clatter all rubbish under sky, that’s what we particularly do. Actually he was one of the 2 persons, whom I knew will be missing from Muscat when I came to India.

Am I in a relationship with him?
I don’t know, but definitely friends

Am I in love with him?
Yes

Hey why do I always fall for Straight and Bisexual guys? Ya its true whomever I go head over heels are mostly not gays, and stupidly I ve got few gay friends who has got the same feeling for me. Hmm reminds me of a song in an album, it’s about different people going behind others for love. Don’t remember the artist; let me see if I can get it.

Ok coming back to him, I meet him on most alternate days, even yesterday when I came back from interior of Oman (job requirements), the first thing I did was go and meet him. But when we plan like a date, it never works out. Something or other pops up. No idea when that is gonna happen, chances for that to happen this month is low as I am busy on job front with audits and stuff. Anyways have kept fingers crossed.

Vacation Diaries

I had been in India but have not written about my vacation, encounters and all other stuff. Though when I had reached India I thought will be writing quite a lot, but I guess I was lazy. Anyways here goes. It’s going to be incoherent thoughts & events.
Had many plans or let’s say had a scheduled vacation but everything flopped. Was at home mostly, on the couch. Even my mom was saying “Once you come home you remain here, and if gone outside then no idea when you are back and even when asked when you will be back, you have got no answer”, hey it’s true. That’s me

Something much unexpected throughout the whole vacation was having a brief stunt when I am with my friends (Straight). Had gone for an outing with my friends and had stayed at one of their places and there I happened to meet a guy, my friends roommate, and we hit of together in the night. I guess it’s the close proximity of our bodies that created the sexual tension; of course it had to be released.

I have made enemies with my relatives this time. Ya I did not visit any of them. And I am sure all of them are pissed. And I what they are going to say too I am aware, “He is rich, now he does not want any of us”, but they don’t know on the contrary I am broke than I was in India. I did not go for two reasons: (1) I do not like to go to visit relatives’ places, even I have written that many a times ‘I hate doing house calls’. Hey I was asking mom the same thing, just because I came from somewhere other than home town does it mean that I have to go visit all of them. Even people who are in home town meet each other only for a function or so, may be once or twice a year, then why should I? (2) I had not brought anything for my relatives, and I did not want to go empty handed. And I am sure they will ask what I brought and stuff, it’s embarrassing.

I’ve made a young boy fall nuts in love with me, at least he tell me so. Anyways whatever be that. Met a guy through Planet Romeo, we interacted sometime and he was like you are’ The One’ (Not Neo of Matrix). And I was like,’ hello you have not even met me or spoken even and how can you say I am the one’ interestingly he is quite a young guy of 18 yrs (definitely off my radar), but it seems he was in a 6-7 relationships and all was a failure. Actually it’s that 6 breakups that made me want to meet him. And eventually I did, initially a brief meet then a detailed one. And he is crazy now, was even saying he is going to delete his account on PR, as he has found me. Don’t know if he did it or not. Anyways I told him, not to. And asked him to meet other guys, keep his options open. Yes he is a sweet guys but I don’t get butterflies when I speak to him.

Speaking of butterflies in stomach, I did meet such a guy. I guess it was the second or third day I landed, met him through PR again. PR is such a cool site check it out, but of course there are always Jackals in the jungle beware. OK ok...so I met him up walked for some time and under the darkness and in between chats we did exchange some flavours. But unfortunately that did not proceed any further. He really gave me butterflies.

But throughout the whole of vacation there was one other guy. Had chatted with him while in Muscat. Had made it clear that I am not going to sleep with him from here itself. Again he wanted me to be the one, but I had made it clear I won’t be, I guess I had written about him earlier. Whatever be it. He is a sweet guy, but though he claims to be gay I don’t think he is in the right pool. He is the guy whom I had written about having many shoes & stuff, in’ Am I Gay Enough?’ We used to hang out a lot, have pizza, barbeque chicken and all.

In between all these sweetness, the painful part was that I was not able to meet a dear friend of mine. Though we have been interacting for long may be more than 5 yrs, we have not met. I know him very dearly, his bf, his family background and stuff but still I have not seen him. This time I was sure to meet him, but unfortunately though I had tried to meet him, he was not able to make it due to some family emergencies. That was a bit saddening. His gifts are still lying at my house, have to tell mom to give off the perfume at least to my cousin brother. Hey when I say gifts don’t get large ideas main attraction was porn cds. That’s what he told me to get him....lol. And do you know what in front of him, I am the silent guy. I am a chatter box but compared him I am nothing, once he starts its impossible to make his stop unless you disconnect the call. Deep Deep Deep, way deep underneath all those clattering he is nice guy...lol.

Ok I guess I had covered all the main events......oh ya I forgot to add one thing. A day before I was to fly it dawned on me that I need to have a last encounter before I leave, and oh boy did I not try.... Unfortunately most of them did not have a place, and I did not want to invite anyone back home so I had to fly back horny, and it’s here that was the release point for my horniness.....hmm let that be the next blog.
In the spirit of Football the snap has to be appropriate guess !!!!

Am I Gay Enough?

Last Sunday i had been to a friends place. I was eating his brains from Muscat for cooking me a something to eat. Ok when I said make me something to eat I just meant, I will nibble something what you have cooked for yourself, and not that make me a separate meal. On seeing him online asked him where is my meal and he was like ok ok ill cook up something for you, and he asked what do I want, and I in my mood said, I love Italian, Chinese, Roti & Dal Tadka (ofcourse I do like them), but never expected for him to do that, ok may be Dal & some Roti.
So Sunday by about 13:00 hrs I came online and saw him too so I said I am dropping by his place (ya I tend to do that) he said fine and it was good that I messaged him as he was feeling a bit lazy to cook up, now its cool
So I landed up, and the moment I entered the house I felt like wow, it was colorful and artistic to the right amount. A dash of colour here and there on the curtains, it was cool. Ok he stated cooking up after I arrived, I watched him cook dal, then I moved on to his computer watched a bit of “Emotionally” (Gay Indian Movie), absolutely hated it, I don’t think Indian gays are as portrayed in the movie, may be a small percent, what ever, then watched a bit of Queer as Folk, Latter days and then he came with the lunch…hmm (I need to name it something it was around 16:00 hrs). I was like OMG, what is this, had Chilly Paneer, Dal & Roti, and an Italian dish don’t remember the name basically pasta. And I remember him telling me that he is ok with Chinese but never tried Italian. So I asked him how did that happen , and he said, downloaded the menu, and I was like ‘Right’. He showed me the menu, I literally was dumbstruck. I have to say I did enjoy the meal, great man.

Now coming back to the house, there was nothing huge to suggest that he was gay. But yes I felt like I am entering a gay mans world…there is pink of course the beautiful pink of gay. Ok its basically red and when white light shines through its pink. I am not a very much a fan of pink. Of course its separate that that I do go through “Pink”. And some beautifully decorated lamp shades, made from recycled paper and stick. He has his bed on the floor (actually I prefer such setting) , so its like a seating area as well as his bed. And the wall plastered with wall paper just to give an effect of head board, beautifully done. And when you lie of course you have the computer at arms length, but your view is again an art work of stick and few leaves staring at you between the curtains of white and blue. Seeing all this it did made me wonder..Don’t I have any qualities of being a gay guy?
And yesterday, another friend he was talking about his shoes, how he takes care of himself and stuff, which I don’t do.
It really made me wonder what is wrong with me?. Am I not gay enough…lol. Don’t worry don’t have plans of crossing over

I am Back

Hey Guys how have you all been, doing great I presume.
Anyways I am now in India, yup have come back for my vacation. Ok when I was boarding the flight I was like I am gonna miss 2 of my newly made friends and I did not feel like leaving Muscat…imagine that me saying I did not feel like leaving Muscat….bloody absurd, when the whole time I was crying for being away from India.

The whole rush of being back to India came when I saw the green of Kerala before the flight landed, made me remember what the heck I was missing the whole long 13 months. Its awesome guys to be back.
Made few phone calls spoke to few old friends gay & straight both…….called a friend and told him that he is gonna get his ass kicked for not giving even a missed call. And do you know something, I have met 2 guys already of course one I spoke while I was in Muscat the other guy I just spoke to him the very next day I landed, met him….ya but no hanky panky if you guys are thinking naughty. And one guy is like he wants a relationship and me being mono and stuff…I am not sure I wanna do it and on top I don’t think he is gay (of course he went for my dick the moment he met me), but his ideology of he being gay did not sound gay to me, ill put him in “curious” that’s it. Its because he has never had gay sex, just some fondling with a neighbor and he is convinced he is gay…kinda stupid if you ask me…..i even told him go have gay sex and then start rethinking your sexual orientation. But as a person he is a nice (I am not sure what other word to use).
But two things which I really got me bugged up were (1) bloody traffic (2) honking. Yes I have been here for the whole of my life, but some how this time its like, pressure. I am seriously thinking of writing a note to the Mayor, asking to act for who she is, after all she was an educator for Christ sake…don’t you see the mess. I know honking is all up to every individual, may be it was like 1% honking for these months and to hear all the sound its irritating.
But what ever be it its good to be back in India.

Dance & Dance

You guys know me as a fan of movies, and now one more of me i just love dance performances, and i was watch some performances of contestants of "Dance India Dance", brilliant performances, and cool choreography.

While seeing these performances i happened to hold that idiotic, amazed, funny look, and people were looking at me as i was watching porn it in a public area. And i was wondering why are people looking at me as if i am watching porn in public. And its when a friend came and asked, what are you watching, because though it seems you are enjoying it you are too engrossed in it.

Seeing these performance can anyone complain of my look?
Check it out guys......

Evening Emotional

I was with a friend of mine; ok it’s a gay friend. Though we don’t have complete sexual relationship, as he is pure top, I am at ease when I am with him.
We had not met for like 10-15 days so we were sharing our experience of the week that had passed. And he mentioned of his fight with his bf….he made him cry and he cried too. And I was like pick up the phone and give him a call, as he was getting emotional and stuff…..but he was like no, he will be asleep and he did not want to disturb him, as he is a light sleeper..... Interestingly at the very same moment his bf came online. Don’t you think there is always a connection of the hearts when you are really in love?

Unfortunately he made me remember the good time I had spent with my guy. Made me a bit emotional. But I am not sure what emotion it is……..I don’t feel like crying, neither am I angry, but yes my throat is a bit dry. And want to be in someone’s arms, lying in the bed. Naked or clothed I don’t care but yes close to someone.

Fame, a movie worth watching

I know why I am so intrigued by the movie ‘Fame’, of course it’s a musical and about young people, and hope for a better tomorrow, great music, but it’s something else........reminds me of my college. Don’t you miss your college? I do a lot. The most magical place ever.

I love the whole film especially the last portion the passing out, ok in this case the final performance. And the joy in their eyes is beautifully pictorized. The tears of joy after a long hard work, or how should I say the success after hard work is worth the tears of joy.

The best relationship of all “Friendship” is purely depicted. It’s so easy to make friends in college, and they are there for you, only after you start moving out do the relationship changes, and there is difficulty in making friends...it’s like corporate world, were every action, every word you say, and to whom all is scrutinized like hell. And on top you have no idea what is waiting for you in the next corner. Once out of college even a simple hug or a pat on the back to say you are doing just fine is difficult.

And the end where they show their joy, wildness on the stage.......hmmmm we had did that we had owned the stage, it was wild night.... thanks to our juniors for giving us that grand farewell. No No it’s never late to say thank you. I think ill shall go back to my college when I go back to India, and walk those corridors......fight with my tutor...lol.

Ya I used to fight very bad with my tutor even have made her cry......you know hot blood, trying to prove the point, you just blurt out whatever that come to your mouth. Its separate issue that even though we fought a lot she was and is my favourite tutor. Even now when I call her up sometimes, she used to say, your batch was the most................, but we all staff miss you guys. I and one of my classmates we used to sit together at one bench, and do all the mischief that is possible, and I have to say her class was very lively, though she taught subjects like virology, Classification and stuff.

I remember when I had taken my autograph book for her to sign, she happened to open a page where one of my classmate had written “control you temper”, and she just laughed at me. Whenever I have gone to meet her (i.e., had been twice, once out of college), I used to carry something for her, and every time it’s one thing. Any guesses???? Horlicks. Ya, horlicks, (it’s an energy powder that you add to milk and drink). She used to drink horlicks, or should I say started during our batch, and once we asked her why, and the answer she gave was ‘ you guys drain out my energy’, and we being we, said “ don’t worry we will buy and give you”.

It was fun people. And one more thing people, its where there is love, respect, will there be fights. You fight for or with people, you do love, not with or for strangers.

Movies and Me/You

Hey guys I am sure you would have read or heard me telling that I am a movie buff...yes that I am. And as I was going through the blogs and after watch the movie” fame”,

I just remembered that that I have not written anything about the movies I like.
Oh yes I am a big fan of Bollywood movies, yes I do like the colourful sets of Karan Johar movies, and the comedies of Priyadarshan (mostly borrowed from the regional language, Malayalam, whatever be that) but I what like the best is low budget movies (serious movies, as some people like to call it), no no I am not talking of art movies (no idea what the heck is that), these are moves which portray true life, they take on bold themes. Hey when I mean small budget movies it does not mean no big actors, it just means not very elaborate sets and stuff.
Ok may be if I jot down my few all time favourites you might understand
My brother Nikhil, Mr & Mrs Iyer, Honeymoon Travels Pvt Ltd, Fashion (for Kangana Raut), A Wednesday, Iqbal, Chake De India, Tarae Zameen par, Rang De basanti, The white butterfly, Jab we met (for songs & colourful portrayal of N. India), Dus Kahaniyan (not all the ten though), Shabd (for the picturization)etc.
But when it comes to Hollywood, i love musicals especially where it’s the movies in which the young crowd fight for dreams and stuff, E.g. Fame, Billy Elliot. Movie which have music as the key factor, Sister Acts, Mama Mia. Then I am a fan of fairytales love the Harry potter movies, Lion King, Spirit, etc. Last but not least love action stuff too................no horror but may be thrillers, Underworld (I am not sure where you guys put the movie underworld – horror/thriller). I am not a very much fan of romantic moves with exception of gay romance. ....lol.
But of all the movies one thing is common, “the ray of hope”, I personally feel it’s what the ray of hope that keeps us all going in bad or worse. We all look forward, straining to see the ray of light at the end of the tunnel. And the best movies of all times have somehow achieved in showing us the ray of hope. Few of us say we go to movies to pass time, na ill have to disagree if we come out of a movie hall happy then that means the move was able to give us a new vision, a new direction, a change of scenario.
A new perspective to see life, that’s what we all are looking for.

Fernando de Noronha

OMG, something beautiful is happening..though not me exactly ………. Its beautiful.
Ok friends and more……..cool...beautiful beach don't you think

Thirst for guys

Last week had been incredibly strange......I am not able to find the exact word.
Anyways had come from the interior of Oman, after long 20 days road trip. And there was only one thing on my mind, to have someone’s company. And to achieve this goal, I was like knocking on every door....of course in a polite manner. And on top this being or was the holy week I was a bit guilty too (20%), but what to do, was horny. I guess I was thirsty.
Unfortunately which ever door I was knocking was opening only partially. Hey I even called up a guy whom I met quite long back, even though I knew he was a pure bottom (pure tops/pure bottoms not my type)even he did not have a place and I did not want him to invite to my place. He said his friend had a place but the luck did not support us as his friend was not picking up the call.
Then there was one other guy whom I again bumped into on the net of course. And this time I was like ya..... I want to get laid. But unfortunately or fortunately he turned out to be let’s get to know first rather than bang and bye. Unfortunate because I was looking for pleasure, and fortunate because rarely do you find people who wants to have a common wavelength before getting into further.
I even ventured out of my comfort zone, crossed my age limit barrier of 30 & also entered the national’s zone, which I usually never do it. Still luck was not on my side, as that guy did not have a place, and I did not want to invite to my place. But I did wonder if he was jeans & tees guy, then, I definitely would have thought of inviting to my room.
So though it was a series of unfortunate incidents, to think about it now it was good that none of those worked out. It was not me.
Hey I made 2 new friends this week, two cool guys. I am sure I’ll enjoy their company very much. May be next time when my adventures of Oman continue.

The Gold Band

He is gone and it’s like I don’t have anything to write. Hey was my blog every time about my encounters and the continuing parts. Hmm I need to check it out, but something in my heart keeps telling me it’s been, gay and gay. Never had I realised most of what I write was about my love life.
Anyways, coming back. Yes people I do agree its time (age) for me to get married, but it’s becoming too much now a days. Ok I can understand family pressurising, but friends and colleagues, come on guys give me a break. Where ever I turn its talk of me getting settled.
Yesterday I was just making fun of my cousin (we both are just 20 days apart by birth) he has posted a new profile photo in orkut, and the moment I saw that what came to my mind was its time for him to get married. And me being me, scribbled the same, reply came the very next hour. Asking me to let him live (apparently we all bachelors do feel that marriage is equivalent of death....lol). He is at home town so he was telling (advising) me not to be in home for 2 months or so. As then it’s going to be big trouble for both of us. As we have been avoiding the marriage scene by pointing at each other. Thankfully I am going to be home only for the month, and I am on schedule, the time I will be spending at home is going to be very much less. This marriage thing has made us refuges in our own home.
Few days back one of my friend (gay), was asking me, why am I not getting settled (he has got a partner). He was even wondering if the first love that I had at college turned out to be bitter that I lost faith in love/relationship. No no what I had in college was not love, it was just a fling, or should I say I liked having sex with him (the routine sexual feed available). As for love and relationships, Hell No. I do still believe in love and relationship. I am yearning to be with One Man only, but yes I have not found anyone, who wants to be with me. It might be true that he is standing in front of me but I am not able to recognise him. Hey guys how do you know he is the one???? So in my quest to find someone, I was thinking of guys whom I had my encounters (ya ya I got my sly smile). I have fallen in love once, but unfortunately he did not feel the same to me. As one night stands doesn’t count, few are off the list, but yes I do remember the passion of a young police officer, the dangerous encounter with a clean shaven youngster, the craving of a boy (do still have doubt if he was a call boy), a guy from underground, ok let’s leave them. Now if I take stock of “the budding love feeling” then I guess there is my take away boy, the engineer, clean shaven roommate but situations and orientations did not let the bud to bloom. Then there is one guy, from Kolkata, have become good friends. I guess he is the only person who is there in my list that can prosper to be” The One”.
One of my online friends is getting married (to a girl). Though I am not very much fond of married men, when I heard him say that his marriage is fixed was. I really felt happy for him. No I am just saying it, I really felt happy from deep inside my heart. I am not against marriage, even have picturized my marriage taking place at a beach setting, at least the reception. But the only thing is I have picturized the marriage but not my partner. May be gay marriages are not legal in India.
Then last week, one of my colleague. He has registered in a matrimonial site, and was looking at the prospects available. He is recently widowed and has got two kids. Actually I was surprised to see the response he was getting. Though he did look some profiles for me too, I did not find anyone interesting. Yes there were few beautiful dames but not my type. My type is men, and he was looking female profiles....lol. Even when I call my colleagues from previous company this question does pop up. “When is you getting married, we need to come. Try getting married during summer vacations so the whole family can come down” And I put forward the routine answer, ‘No I have not thought about marriage, let me live, and enjoy life’.
Yes I know I am going to be confronted with marriage questions, when I go for vacation.....have kept fingers crossed.

Politricks

It’s been a few days since I want to write about the political scenario of Kerala and it’s high time to change, but I keep postponing due to lack of privacy in office...ya ya writing from the room is an option but not in a mood (But now I am doing it from room) Then I left it being Valentine’s Week and stuff. Now what made me scribble is because I vet got a news to tell.
I have shifted my room, this new room is layered with green carpet, and the moment I saw it I remembered my mom, she wanted to lay a green carpet on the floor. Fortunately or unfortunately this place is above a restaurant and so I don’t have issues for food, but the only problem is whenever I go I feel like ordering North Indian Thali (Indian bread, Curries, Rice set) and it’s a bit expensive. Yes here in Oman, I will have to say nothing is cheap, other than the beverage drinks. Even though I have shifted to the new room, (it’s about 15 mines walk from my place) I have not given back the key, got lots of fond memories and I like that room. It’s not that I am clinging on to memories but yes it’s the room which saw quite a good number of actions. Lol.....and I were wondering if one more was possible.
Ok, now coming back to Kerala, I just don’t understand, why is it difficult to get things done/completed. Got plenty of investments coming, be it external or from the central govt. But nothing is being fulfilled; everything is pending on paper works, or just the laying of foundation stone. We have to thank the whole news media, for highlighting all these situations. It’s a separate issue that it’s the competitions for news that brings out these discrepancies of the bureaucratic system. I remember hearing about Hi-tech City, Spice Garden, Internet City, Metro Rail, IIT, but where are they all gone? But I was a bit taken back to read in a news paper, that palakkad (a dist in kerala), has become the first in India to be completely electrified, but I don’t remember anything of a launch for such a process, may be things which are hyped up are the projects that get caught in the black hole, where time stands still.
Something which I absolutely loved to hear was the reaction of youngsters to a political party worker in Mumbai. For many years they used to come out during the Valentine’s Day, crying it’s against the Indian culture. Oh please we have a rich cultural heritage and that doesn’t change, and don’t forget culture is what we make, it’s what we decide how to behave. Behaving like mad dogs then the solution is only crude oil. Yes people youngster’s poured crude oil on a politician who was going on blabbering about western culture influence and stuff, and in original, they had their children studying and enjoying all the western culture.

Joe Joe Joe McElderry

Hey my height of obsession for Joe McElderry is overwhelming myself. Have been watching his performance again and again for few days, even I recommend every one I get to meet online to check it out, even I told one of my colleague, had, mailed her the song, even I just sent her a reminder to Climb (enjoy) the song. Yes I am sure all of you will love his songs. He has got a beautiful voice, and you will start believing such is the passion and intensity in his voice...

The only thing which pisses me off is; it’s bloody difficult to upload the videos. Check out you tube or get the album itself, I am sure you will not regret it. Have to thank, Hi FM, 95.90, for introducing his singing to me.

Anybody find me somebody to love, hmmmmmm I am in love. Ok I love my ‘take away’ but I am not in love in the manner described by Shakespeare. Ya ya I have diversified love. It’s not entirely a new version, you must have heard about College Love/ Time pass love, so I am just rephrasing it as Visit Love. ......... We know that the chance of us seeing each other in India is minimum.

No No I am not comparing him with my first love at Hyderabad, but yes few of the things what we did or his actions reminded me of him. Ok let’s see what are the things that I can share hmmmm. We care for the environment, so we did our best to Save Water. We made sure only a thin layer of water run down between our bodies. After which we had lunch, or should I say brunch. He made Pulav (Indian Version of Fried Rice), and the only difference was that he likes it hot, and Hyderabad guy can’t stand chilly. But both made sure I eat (I am a bad eater, though it’s separate that I have been in this food business for long). Hey first love is First love, whatever you say it remains with you forever.

Interestingly they both are vegetarians; I have to say I was not a very much fan of vegetarian food, but have to thank a college mate of mine who introduced me to vegetarian food, made me relish it as non vegetarian food. It’s just how you prepare it, thanks to her I love vegetarian food, and by the way she lives in Oman. Anyways leaving her behind, let’s stick on to my take away guy. I am really gonna miss him, but i am gonna hold on to that feeling.

09.02.2010

It’s like I am having starting trouble, not able to give it a start to today’s post.Even its pretty confusing what to christen the post as !!!!

Had a great evening talking. It’s been s few days we had met, so even he was pouring out his experiences and so was I. Our adventures with people who met online, and who we met face to face. I liked the conversation as it was simple two friends talking; Of course the talks were mostly about guys.
And yes the evening had happy ending, but it was on a sad note that he will be leaving soon to India. Am I sad….hmmm not exactly? When I met him, he had told me he is due to return in few days time. But Ill miss him.

Hey why am I talking about him leaving, he has not left, and we do indent on making what ever time possible a memory. Planning to go shopping some day soon (remember the customary gifts for relatives & friends).

Now for my professional life, a new assistant is joining my department, and I do have a doubt if he is gonna be an extra burden. Atleast that’s what I grasp from the reviews I hear about him from few staffs. Have kept my fingers crossed hoping he to be an asset to the dept. rather than a burden. And tomorrow is the customary ‘present the new scrape goat day’, lets see how that turns out to be. …lol

Rain Rain Come Again

Its flood time, people.

Today it rained in Muscat, and its reaction - my office was flooded. It was water and water, especially in reception area and unfortunately the slope of the floor was to my room, so I in water. Yes it’s a villa, and I was wondering if the person who built the property by mistake made a drain to inside rather than out side…lol
Actually, behind the reception, and file draws there is an exit, and the grill was temporarily closed, and some wise man had removed the covering sheet, so it was flood time.

It had been a hungama, thankful we had 2-3 cleaning staff and they worked good. In between one of the managers made an unnecessary comment that it’s the rain from India, and one cleaning staff was from India, I loved his reply “ Agar India Ka barish idar agaya tho Oman he nahi rahaga” (If the rain of India comes here then the whole Oman will be under water). I just smiled and moved away. Yes it’s true I don’t think the quantity of rain that India gets cannot be compared to rainfall in Oman. Sometimes there are floods arising here but it’s basically due to the topographical conditions rather than the quantity of rainfall.

And everyone preferred to have ‘garam garm pakoda & chai’ (fries & hot tea), atleast the Indian community in the office. But if you ask me I would have preferred to curdle down with someone under a nice warm blanket. Actually had plans of meeting him today, but I had postponed it to tomorrow, now I wish I had not done such stupidity. Lets see how the climate is gonna be tomorrow. Have kept fingers crossed for heavy showers, and if it’s a holiday, beautiful……..Ya ya I know it’s too much, hey I can dream.

First rain always brings out the excitement in all, I heard the oldest of my colleague saying she wish to go and enjoy a stroll in the rain. The same feeling I had with a small addition I wanted to enjoy the stroll with someone (brought memories of Hyderabad). To walk hand in hand in the rain, hey haven’t you seen most of the romantic sequences in bollywood movies are accompanied with rain. Definitely in India, people will be on the roads (snap posted is of Juhu Beach, Bombay).

04.02.2010 (short of titles)

Ok today was a bizarre day.

I have fallen in love with the rendering of “The Climb” by Joe McElderry, beautiful and of course he is handsome. No no I did not fall for his looks; it was his voice that attracted me first.

Had been enjoying his song for quite some time, and as it’s been 2 days since I did not get to meet my ‘take away’, I was in a mood to meet someone. And it so happened that one guy greeted me through Orkut, and the next thing I did was asked him if he is free to meet me. No idea how the person reacted or what his expression was, but he said yes.
And I just logged off and took the taxi to the meeting point, but it’s when I entered the vehicle did I realise that I have no idea about this guy. Even his name was not clear, and I was trying to find the clue to my stupidity. But as I had already set forth I continued the journey.

On reaching the designated place there was more of confusion. I did not know how to find out the guy, had informed him where I’ll be but I had no clue of how he looks, what he is gonna wear and stuff. (Ok, I forgot to tell, I did not give him the GSM number). So I was standing there, waiting for the unknown, even the net seems to be not supporting me. Some network problem so not able to log on and find if he replied to my last query of how to recognise him.
So the waiting continued........................and there I saw a stout guy waiting did have doubt if he is the guy. If he was the person, hmmmmm I don’t think. Ok, yes when I spoke to him had made it clear that I am looking for a coffee, a chat, nothing else as of now, as I did not want to take the risk I did not precede to him. In between I called the mobile service provider to clear my problem for the mail, and in between the bustle he happened to leave. So there goes my blind date.
So had my dinner came back empty handed...for two days it’s been bad luck for me in consideration with love life...let’s see when the time changes.

Emptiness

Am I happy yes and no…..Yes because its lust, and No because it’s not fulfilling.

Its really true love/ pleasure/ happiness. ...what ever you may name it. Sex is definitely not the ultimate; it’s the love between people that counts. Even to have a beautiful sex session its love/ passion/ craving for each other that plays the important role.

A meeting is scheduled but I am not so sure if ill be able to make it got an appointment with a doctor… lets see if I have tumor?
Earlier, even now, among friends we say, if some friend is sick and he goes to hospital, we clam that he has got some disease like, blood cancer, tumor, etc….. not on a serious note of course. I guess I have to thank the film industry of 80’s for popularizing such illnesses. Most of the movies during those times had climax as hero dying of blood cancer or brain tumor.

What ever be that, today I prefer a walk on the beach, a dinner, a movie, and of course ice cream…….. You know the romantic fool category. But it’s essential.

As truly said, you have to express that you love; you care for him/her. Gifts and flowers are one way of expressing, but I think the best way spending time with each other, a hug, a walk hand in hand.

Ok you might ask why cant I consider it as a trick…Don’t know, I can’t consider it as one.

Obsessed ? Naahhhhhhhhhhhhh

Earlier this evening i was sitting in a park and was listening to FM, and they happed to play the song "Obsessed", Mariah Carey, and it made me think, what am i doing here?

OK, the park where i was sitting is the same place where we had agreed to meet, remember the "Take away"...lol. No no i am not in love with him or obsessed with him, but yes i do like meeting him, talking to him. Its simply because its not that often you find a guy of your sexual orientation quite near by to your place and on top who speaks and listens. Something secret, i had gone to the same place hoping to meet him twice but i knew he had said, Sunday. If at all he turns out !!!!!! Still keeping aside my behavior i will not agree to be termed obsessed .................its good to have some one near by to talk to, give warm hug, a peck on the lips.... (i am not blushing, but yes i am laughing, a sly)

Day 28.01.2010

Hmmmmm how shall I begin.

Ok here goes, for few days I had been receiving a mail on PR asking to meet a guy. One guy recommending for the other, and I don’t know both the guys. Though I was bit confused I did respond to it mail. But it was in a manner which has only a small window to continue the conversation.

Ok whatever be it, today I happened to get him online (freedom from offline messages). And I spoke to him, and came to understand that though they are different profiles, but the person who I was talking (is that the word, I don’t think so, still.....) to was the same guy. And it turns out that he stays next to my place, so we agreed to meet up.

But yes I have to say I had my doubts, and to hike it up, when I reached there I saw 2 guys. So I did not go directly to the meeting point but rather was taking a round. I was about to leave then I saw this guy coming, and that’s when I realised, I was looking at different guys. They happen to be there; of course it’s a public place.
Had a chat for some time, and concluded him to be “take away” (can be taken home). Though initially I had told him that I don’t have place today, but I had so I informed the same to him, and he agreed to come home. Yes, we came home had a chat and then ended difficult to pull from each other.

Let’s see if I get to meet him again, have kept fingers crossed...

So guys, that’s what has happened in my personnel life, now for professional life, its same old story ROUTINE. Really wish I could change that. Even today morning was not feeling like to go, even messaged my colleague saying ‘Wish it was holiday’, and interestingly she replied ‘ come to office and relax there’......I just felt like laughing, me to go to office and relax, gosh, I took my morning tea by 11:30, after starting by 08:00 hrs. But frankly speaking I think I do like to complete my work or be prepared rather than trying to make the ends meet at the last minute. And it’s also true that when i put my efforts I like to see results, or it being used for something better.

26 Jan 2010

Sometimes there are days where you don’t feel like doing anything. And today was one such day. From morning I was simply sitting, its not that I don’t have work, got plenty pending but still I was just killing time. Now a days its off season for me I guess.

Anyways, now a days am staying alone. Plus point - you got the whole small room to yourself (can invite anyone. .lol) negative aspect- Expensive. Though it’s been almost a year since in Oman, don’t have very much of savings, and now time to head back home for vacation is nearing. And vacation means gifts (traditional custom), and I am not so sure what to get and for whom all to get, and on top there is financial crisis.

I don’t understand why do people think that people working abroad, are all rich. To me its just a job, and I get paid, and it has its own expenses (living).
My bank balance is almost zero and people expect me to get married…gosh. Whom ever I called had to speak to me only about marriage Its time to start to think of getting married, when you came home we will start looking for a nice girl.. what profession do I want, do you plan to take her with you……I was showered with questions and questions, actually had called about 5- 6 people and among only one ( friend) did not say anything about marriage….when I was lying on bed I wanted to call and tell him ‘Thank you’.

I knew that I will be asked when I go home about marriage, but seeing the trailer I think its gonnna be a horror movie.
I have no idea what I am gonna tell…may be ill blurt out, that it’s illegal for same sex marriage in India.
Its not that I don’t want to hold hands, with the love of my life and walk the streets of life (sounds pathetic) .I really don’t want to end up single………….. but definitely not married and single. Have think of some way to dodge the fiery arrows of marriage.

I think ill go for a hair cut or a movie for a change


Ah yes, Happy Republic Day to all my fellow Indians

My life - a maze

Have you ver noticed that most of the things that happen in a day, is some how related in some bizzard way.

Today evening i was chatting with a college mate, and he was asking if i there is marriage on the cards when i go home this April/ May. As usuual i gave my well rehearsed reply of "Have not thought about it, and more over i am not able to look after myself, and how am i gonna look after someone else", usually this reply is enough to end the conversation, but today it did not. He said "that's what most people tell, and once its time everything happens and i will say family forced and stuff", and i just pinned him on saying, Is it the experience thats talking? (FYI, he is married)

Anyways after that i happened to go online and call up a friend or should i say my personnel diary, ya he is that. As usual he was blabbering about his love life, getting almost caught by his to be in-laws and stuff. Once he begins yapping there is nothing stopping him. Ok so today after the whole epic drama, he was like lets me screw this felow in gettting proper answers, so he stated his shower of question.

Flashback:
I am a bit loaffy about a guy whom i met, and he knows about it

Q: Are you serious with him?
Q: Do you see, you guys having a life togfether?
A: I dont see that happening as he is bi- guy

Q: Do you intend on living your life with someone?
A: I havent thought about it.

Q: When will you start saying something clearly?
A: Yes i do wish to be with a guy, but i dont think that's practically possible.

Words of Wisdom
Its a seperate think to have friend and to have a lover. Though both of them wants only good for you, its there are things very special between yourself and love (the next think he said about some social security and stuff i did not get it)

I intervened in the conversation by saying that 'one thinks from the heart and the other with the brain & heart'............i just said that, to say something. Though in my heart i knew thats utter bullshit.
And out of the bloom he clicked a chord, a name from my life in hyderabad, and that was more than enough to keep my mouth shut for long.

Wisdom continues: Yes mostly people come abroad, and use gay sex as an excuse, but their ultimate aim is getting settled with a nice girl (i dont remember the rest)



Yes its time for me to start thinking

I feel like screaming on top of my lungs "I want to settle down with some nice guy, but have not found one" Whom ever i meet mostly have got plans of getting married to a nice girl and have a secret relationship (none has told that, but assumed from words).